Blogger: 'I am coming out of the closet'

I have been wanting to write a gripe/tell-all/advice blog on people, well, my observation of people and their behaviors, habits and down right rudeness for the past 10 years.  Yesterday, during my amazing spin class, I decided that it was time.  

I don't work in the restaurant business or any other service industry anymore so there is no fear of going to work and hearing "nice article, but you're fired!"  And I do realize that my photo is attached to this blog but, I am married with two kids; you can't scare me. So, to all my waiters, waitresses, bartenders, hostesses, manicurists, hairstylists, gym instructors, and the customers you serve; this is for you.

In the Gym

• In what world is it ok to sweat, and spit all over a piece of gym equipment and NOT wipe it down when you are done?

• To go further on the fitness facility route, don't shave while you are on the treadmill, don't try and answer your phone while in a SPIN class (the fact that the instructor wears a microphone to speak should clue you in that its loud).

• Yes, it will "smell" in an excercise room.

• And for God sake, if you are sick and hacking all over the place, stay home.

At the Nail Salon

• If you walk into a packed salon and want a pedicure/manicure, don't pretend you are shocked that you will have to wait 15 minutes for someone to scrub your feet. 

• And speaking of feet, they are washing and scrubbing YOUR feet, feet that are in shoes all day, feet that sometimes walk in not so nice things on the sidewalk — leave the technician a little bit more than $3.00. 

• Remember also: It is just nailpolish, its not permanent and you can change it the next time you present yourself.  

Next up: Proper restaurant behavior.  It has been said that there is no better way to gauge a person's true "colors" than how he/she treats the person waiting on them — Boy, isn't that the truth?

• If you are ordering a fish entree, don't ask if there are bones in it, it makes you sound down right silly and the staff will be laughing at you in the kitchen.  

• If you are brave enough to venture out on a Saturday night in the summer with an entourage of 20, and no reservation, you won't be seated immediately and don't try and bargain with the hostess, because again, the staff will just laugh at you in the kitchen.  

• Don't spend your last dollar on Quick Draw, you have to tip the bartender who has been listening to your ramblings, feeding you, diagnosing your illness, and giving you a free therapy session. They, at the very least, deserve a buck or two.

• Don't waive at your waiter/waitress to get their attention,its rude and again, they will talk about you in the back.  

• Waitstaff in the hamptons are BUSY, so when they come to take your order, get off your phone, don't try and give your two-year-old the choice of Filet Mignon or Penne a la Vodka; order them a grilled cheese with fries and move along.

• If you wouldn't clean it up at your home then don't expect the waitstaff to clean up the remnants of "little johnny's" playtime-clean up the poured out sugar, salt, ketchup, and smashed spaghetti on the floor.  Restaurant staff are not your housekeepers and again, they will all be talking about you.  

• If a restaurant closes at 11 p.m. and you bravely saunter in at 10:59, they are obliged to serve you and some may not mind, but don't sit there until 1 a.m. They are waiting for you to leave so they can finish their work and go home.

• And last but not least, to all the drunk men and women who need to soak up the alcohol: Your server is someone's wife, husband, daughter, or son. Don't call them "dude", "baby", "honey", "yo", "hun", "bro", or "girl".  It is disrespectful and unnecessary, and once again, you will be the source of much laughter in the kitchen!  They have names, just ask :)

Summer is coming! Be nice to everyone!