Friends, Colleagues Remember Susan O'Rourke

News that Westhampton Beach resident lost her battle with cancer on Tuesday hit hard.

Susan and I were friends through our boys, who grew up together in the Westhampton Beach community. My son, Billy, played baseball with her son, Connor — Susan’s husband Michael coached the boys’ basketball team — and her older boy, Tyler, was also involved in many of the same extracurricular activities.

I can remember so many sunny afternoons at the Little League field, sharing laughter with Susan, who had a sharp wit and one of the brightest smiles I’ve ever seen. We shared a love of literature, of the beach — but most of all, we shared that deep and abiding love of our children — a tie that binds the mothers who walk the same road, sharing their sons’ and daughters’ childhoods, for life.

Susan attended every school function — spring concerts, sports events, holiday fairs. She was the treasurer of the Westhampton Beach High School PTO and spent countless hours volunteering in school activities so that she could be an intrinsic part of her boys’ lives.

She was that kind of mom.

When our boys left for college at the same time, Susan and I shared a series of messages on Facebook that I’ve saved; they touched me that deeply. She got it — she understood, immediately, the same rush of emotions I was feeling.

Through her tears, explaining that she was trying to focus on how excited, happy, and proud she was of her boys, she wrote these words: “I had a really ‘bad moment’ today at , the last grocery run before the boys leave for college. It hit me like a fist to the throat, that after this week I will not be buying Yodels or fruit roll-ups, Italian Ices or Gatorade . . . and I'm beating myself up about all the nights I didn't cook dinner for them this summer. Finished my shopping in sunglasses and fled the store to the privacy of my tinted-window car where I could finish crying in relative peace.”

She was that kind of mom.

A mom who treasured the big moments, and who realized that it’s the little things — care packages sent to college, snacks in kids' lunch boxes packed especially for them -- that make children feel loved and cherished.

My “mom” friends and I, when we heard of Susan’s loss, we cried. Cried for the loss of a woman who, Terry Lucas said, leaves a “hole inside” of her. Susan was too young, she said, had too much left to give. “Susan was a loving mother to her two tall boys,” Lucas said. “She was funny and sarcastic and loved to read. I did not see her often, but when I did we would talk about how our kids had grown from the days at Jeanne’s Junior Jungle to the amazing young adults they are today.”

Kerry Rogozinksi, who worked with Susan at , where Susan was a secretary to the zoning board of appeals and planning board, said she was a great co-worker and a great friend.

“She always had a smile on her face,” she said.

“She was a kind and loving person,” East Quogue resident Kathy Tureski said.

Robyn Sheren remembered her friend Tuesday night.

“Susan was the most loyal, kind loving friend anyone could have. She and I learned how to be mothers together. She taught me how to discipline and I taught her how to give in once in a while. She would do anything for those she loved and cared about.”

Sheren said Susan reveled in motherhood.

“Her boys were her life, she would glow with each milestone they encountered.  Totally interested in the gossip - who liked who - who was taking who to the prom, etc. She was tough on the exterior but one of the most sensitive souls I've known.” she said

Her friend, Sheren said, had an avid love for dogs and was involved “rescue missions galore.” Susan, she said fondly, also loved a bargain and hated green vegetables.

“I could go on forever,” Sheren said. “I loved her so much.”

Susan’s oldest son, Tyler, graduated magna cum laude from Saint Michael’s College in Vermont on May 14, with a Bachelor of Arts degree in economics. Something I’m sure made Susan’s heart swell with pride —  the tangible award for all the years of fine mothering and love she poured into her oldest son.

She was that kind of mom.

When our boys left for college, Susan told me how the best thing I could do for my son was “not cry too much in front of him — easier said than done, I know.”

Always thinking of her boys above all else — knowing just what to do, to ensure they would grow up strong, happy, and so very, very loved.

She was that kind of mom.

And she will be missed always.